The Genius of Wayne and Shuster

For several decades, the works of Johnny Wayne and Frank Shuster highlighted Canadian comedy, first on radio and then on television.

They began on CBC radio during World War Two, and then made the leap to CBC Television in the 1950s, until the mid-1970s.
Their form of comedy, branded 'literary comedy,' was also featured on their record 76 appearances on the CBS top-rated Ed Sullivan show'.
My favourite sketches include:
1. 'Rinse the Blood of my Toga,’ (their debut on the CBS show in 1958), is a spoof of the 'Dragnet ' detective series, and follows the investigation into the assassination of Roman Emperor, Julius Caesar.
Detective Flavius Maximus, Private Roman Eye (Wayne), hired to discover the Emperor's killer, narrates the Julius Caesar caper.
Major clue: Caesar, whose body was ‘really fixed for blades’ (a popular ad line of that era for Gillette razors), was slain in the ‘portico’, a much more painful area than the ‘rotunda.'
It gave rise to a number of catch phrase additions to the Canadian lexicon:
– 'Julie, don't go!’ is declared REPEATEDLY by Caesar's wife, Calpurnia, when questioned about the crime. (Reason: ‘It’s the Ides of March, beware already!’)
– Flavius walks into a trendy bar and says: Give me a 'martinus.'
The bartender replies: You mean 'martini.'
Flavius: If I want two, I'll ask for them.!'
— As the case unfolds, prime-suspect Brutus (Shuster) feeds Flavius several popular sayings about the city:
When progress to a solution has been slow, he advises: 'Rome was not built in a day;’ and offers it to Flavius.
When Flavius has to go out and mingle with the people to solve the case, he suggests: 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do.’ Flavius, again, can have the saying.
But when Brutus is finally captured and is being led away to the slammer, he swears revenge, citing: 'All roads lead to Rome,’ and refuses to let Flavius have it! (Brutus had to be smoked out by an incense grenade.)
2. My next fave. Wayne and Shuster sketch is: ‘The Shakespearean Baseball Game.'
This work of genius — skillfully written in tetramic and iambic pentameter – recounts the attempts of a baseball manager (Shuster) trying to get the best performance out of his mediocre Stratford team, despite the poor showing by his featured star hitter, the Mighty Yogi (Wayne).
Literary references abound, as our comedy team celebrate the resurgence of the Stratford Shakespearean festival:
The game is set on 'Bosworth Field,’ not of the famous historical battle, but the name of the little-known baseball stadium near Stratford, Ontario.
When the batter hits a line drive, called a foul ball by the umpire, the manager declares: 'So fair a foul I have not seen.’
When the manager argues a later call with the umpire, he advises: 'Get thee to an optometrist.’
3. ‘The Scarlet Pumpernickel’ sketch relates some of the more offbeat subplot events of the French Revolution.
Citizen Mal-de-Tete (Shuster), a lieutenant of Citizen Robespierre confronts the pompous English spy Sir Percy Fink (Wayne) known as the Brown Pumpernickel.
The notorious spy carries out daring rescues of aristocrats, each time leaving dozens of his calling cards, brown pumpernickels.
After Citizen Mal-de-Tete captures Fink and tries to carry out his death by guillotine, we witness a spirited sword fight and … wait, I can’t divulge the ending, but I CAN reveal that it features the magic of the new CBC technology of ‘Instant Replay.’
Give yourself a treat and watch their sketches on ‘You Tube.’ Their literary hijinks carried over into Radio, as well.
During the 1960s and 70s, Johnny and Frank would be invited to fill-in for legendary morning man Wally Crouter on CFRB-1010 Toronto, while he was on vacation. (Legendary? You bet; he was on the air in the same top-rated slot for FIFTY YEARS.)
As a closer for the standard commercial copy for ‘H-F-C Household Finance,’ the local announcer was required to deliver a one-sentence tag line (composed by the ad agency), stating how many offices they had in the local area.
Scripted tag: 'There are (number) offices of Household Finance within the sound of my voice.' Of course, the boys couldn't leave the scripted line as written, so here is what they delivered:
'There are 33 offices of Household Finance within the sound of my voice ... and if I speak louder there are 39.'
— Every radio announcer I know has secretly wanted to change (boring, repetitive) ad agency copy, but Wayne and Shuster did it so well that the agency / sponsor / ad director all chuckled and approved.